Do you automatically assume that if someone does something differently, that you’re doing it wrong?

When I arrive somewhere early and no one else is there yet I think, “Did I get the day right? Is this where we’re supposed to meet?” I’m always more comfortable when someone else shows up. It reassures me I’m in the right place.

I spend a lot of energy doubting myself, and more often than I care to admit I have deferred to someone else’s plan or priority.

I’ve been hearing a lot recently about Angela Duckworth’s Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. I’m kind of afraid to read it because my standard operating system is the opposite of passion and perseverance. Like a butterfly I lightly flit to the next lovely flower in the garden. Surely the book will tell me what I’m doing wrong.

But every way of being has certain advantages. We’re told to be ourselves, right? What’s the upside of being a butterfly? I’m willing to try new things, open to change and experimentation. I’m less likely to bang my head against a wall pursuing a dead end. I’m agile, not rigid. Flexible.

Yesterday in a forum I asked for some feedback about some copy I’d written. Initially the comments were positive then they moved in a direction I didn’t agree with. My first reaction was to spit expletives at my computer screen, then sigh in dismay that I’d never get this right.

Slowly I realized that this was a perfect example to explore about being wrong. Granted, I was not communicating effectively if they were misunderstanding me, but my direction is worth pursuing. I don’t have to throw away the idea that was feeling so good to me.

Maybe this is my version of grit.

It’s the origin of pearls.