Turning timidity into confidence

Emotional Alchemy: Turning Timidity into Confidence

Liz Sumner Courage, Ease, Fear, Self Worth, Trust Leave a Comment

I recently fulfilled a dream of singing a solo with a big jazz band. We did four performances. They all went well and I loved it. I received lots of praise afterwards. This morning while I was having coffee with a friend a woman I’d never met came up to me and told me she’d heard me and had to tell me how much she enjoyed it. She thought I sounded like Ella Fitzgerald. She could not have given me a greater compliment.

I didn’t say aw shucks. I didn’t put myself down or diminish myself. I felt touched and appreciative. I believed that I had given her value.

This got me thinking about confidence and owning your expertise. What if I felt as solidly confident in my business as I do with my singing? I’m good at it. I know it. It flows. What’s the difference? Why am I sometimes timid about promoting myself as a great coach? Why do I compare myself to others and automatically assume I’m less than?

Lots of other people sing well and I admire them. I’m not jealous of them. Some are more accomplished or professionally successful but that doesn’t take away from my ability. I see our different styles and approaches. I know who I am and what I’m damn good at.

How might I apply this same strong certainty to an area where I sometimes doubt myself? With coaching I often discount my contribution because the transformation happens to the client. They are the stars. It’s not about me.

With singing I’m up for challenging myself with new experiences. I learn from my mistakes and don’t feel judged. I like to sing with others and help them feel the joy of it. I experience that sense of harmony when I’m coaching, but I often don’t give myself credit for my part in the music we make.

I’m going to experiment with this idea– I coach the way I sing. What insights are there? How would I appear to the world if that same assurance of my worth appeared in my marketing? Wow.

What areas in your life could be infused with confidence by shifting the fearlessness you feel from one attribute to another? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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