Reset my default to high self worth

Liz Sumner Self Worth 1 Comment

This morning I was writing in my journal and reflecting on some experiences from the past week where I was in a virtual group conversation and I felt good about how it went. I presented myself well, made some connections, advanced my cause. Good work.

But it occurred to me that I had entered each group with an automatic and not even conscious feeling of inferiority. I was patting myself on the back for not blowing it. It wasn’t exactly a feeling of imposter syndrome. It was more that I came in thinking that I was less than and needed time before I realized that wasn’t the case. 

I give myself credit for venturing into networking opportunities that are somewhat out of my comfort zone. But just because I’m a little out of my element doesn’t mean I need to assume I lack value until such time as I realize that isn’t so. 

I want my default to be I belong here. I have plenty to contribute. Realizing it is a step in the right direction. There was a time when it took longer than 45 minutes to remember my inherent value. But from now on I want to go into those conversations feeling my full worth. Let’s have that be a given and not a pleasant surprise.

Comments 1

  1. Oh, I know this feeling. It took 15 years of teaching for it to begin to subside, for me to feel comfortable and confident in front of students and groups. Which is not to say that I always think I know “it all,” but I now know that I absolutely belong. I’ve presented dozens of times to small groups of instructors and less often to hundreds of instructors at a time – providing activities that kept them engaged and busy even as I shared what I hold to be important pedagogical distinctions. Somehow, like you Liz, when you perform, I know how to move across the space or stage, make eye contact, emphasize the right words and phrases and move through slides if it is that type of a presentation. I am always hyper-prepared, a throw back to those years when my career was just beginning. Now, being prepared doesn’t take as long as it used to, but the material is still meticulously structured and delivered. I’ve even stopped worrying about the rare flubs that inevitably occur. They are normal, even with the best speaker. Anyway, the sense of competence and/or proficiency in any area is hard won, but so worth it because when one skill or capability is well-anchored, a person can move on to another skill and challenge themselves with that. Such fun!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *