How do you handle the pro bono request?

Doing work for friends is a tricky business.

I believe that it is my responsibility to set my own boundaries. If I agree to give service as a gift I can’t get resentful if someone accepts. It’s not fair.

But if someone accepts a gift from me I hope I am clear about the scope. This is what I am willing to do and this I am not.

It’s not easy to have that kind of conversation, especially if you have some issues about wanting people to like you.

When someone asks, “Are you sure?” I have said (and meant) “You can trust me. I don’t say something I don’t mean.”

I recently agreed to do a project for a client’s friend at a reduced rate. I accepted with the hope that it would earn me good will and future rewards. Unfortunately the project grew out of hand and I’m doing a lot of work for nothing. Hopefully the client and I are wise enough not to let resentment and guilt damage our working relationship (and I may still get those future rewards.)

In my attempts to improve my attitude I’ve thought a lot about how it might have gone differently at the start. I don’t think I would have refused to help. I might have set some milestones– “Let’s see where we are at this point and we’ll discuss whether to go further.”

There was also a moment where I agreed to go in one direction when my instinct said another. I hope that next time I will trust my intution and listen to my own good judgment instead of deferring.

If I could learn how to do those things better it will have been time well spent.