Knowing that I should do something usually makes me do the opposite. Guilt just doesn’t work on me. It makes me feel shitty. I lose a fair amount of sleep. But I don’t actually do the thing I’m avoiding.

The example I’m thinking of is my Italian Language skills. I have not been working to improve them.  I’ve actually gotten worse and understand less.  I felt crappy about it but shame didn’t do me any good.

Fortunately, a friend in a similar situation, recommended a teacher, and I was willing to come out of my funk enough to try something new. I recognized that my guilt was not serving me in any way, shape, or form.

I’m going to start new lessons when we return and try to identify what has not worked in the past. I forgive myself for not working hard. I will start again. I don’t need to punish myself with guilt.